The moments were flickering in her mind. She was sitting on the shiny iron bench waiting for nothing at the station. She was empty. But he said, “You are taking away my happiness and life.” She had replied, “How strange, I am still empty. I have memories but no giggles. I have breathes but no life.” The next tube was headed toward the city center. But that was not her concern. She didn’t come here to start a journey. She was on the verge of ending one.
There was so much bustle on the platform. People were waiting for the tube. They had impending tasks, to be completed. But she had already concluded the task of her life. A man on the platform, talking on his phone was telling someone that he is going for a marriage party. “Going”, she murmured.
“Told you it is not just you who are going you are taking a lot with you. Including smile, happiness joy feeling of being lived”, he said.
“Still I am empty. So weird”, she replied with a heavy gut.
“I am sorry”, he apologised.
“It is fine. We will think that it was not meant to be”, she answered controlling the salty water to leak out from her eyes.
“Sure”, he nodded.
“It all started at that lovely haven where we kissed for the first time to begin this journey to separation. This voyage very conveniently ended at that same place with love and happiness around us. It was a circle. It had to come back from where it began. It had to end there. That is why we went to that place. We were delaying for a long time to visit that place. But this had to end. Therefore god took us there so that we can LIVE the last happy day of this relation. The voyage had to end with a merrymaking and festivity. That is why we only talked, laughed and loved. We lived that day”, she said with tears in her eyes.
“Don’t act so strange”, the shrill voice of a lady brought her back to station. She came out of the journey to mind. “I have told you a dozen of times to stop being strange. Why cannot you act normal?” , the lady was shouting at the man with her. “St.., Stra.., Strange, Stranger!” her mind said.
“You know it hurts me but you still got to do that. That is why I get hurt and you become a stranger. And I get a step away from you”, she shouted with tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Do not make silly demand”, he scolded her.
“You will be a stranger to me whenever you will do that. You never understand my perspective. You never feel for me. You never pity me. You never think how degraded I feel. For you it is always my fault. Whenever I demand something genuine from you then you start giving excuses. I don’t ask for your life. You told me that I am your life and happiness, then what would be more important for you than me and my happiness. Can’t you do some things to make me feel complete with you? Don’t I deserve that feeling? The feeling of being understood. The feeling that you actually care and take measures to look after my mental health”, she cried.
“Never come back to talk to me again. You are a headache. Hats off to you for making my life miserable. Be there for yourself because there is no way you are going to think about me or others. You want to make me lonesome. Leave me alone”, he shouted.
She heard the horn of tube which brought her back among the people present at the station. “Had I asked for too much? Don’t I deserve to be happy?’’ , she introspected. But it was too late to ask these questions because she knew her ultimate doom. It is the fate of every women in this world to make compromises in one form or another. How could she forgot that she is a woman?
The tube was reaching the platform. The announcements were made of its impending arrival. She was moving toward the black hole from which the big caterpillar, containing human beings, was to be emerged. She could see the dim light coming from a distance. “This tube is our life. It keeps our life running on time”, she heard a man commenting to his friend. “Life? Easy?”, she was lost again in her own train of thoughts.
“You have made my life difficult. There is nothing left for me to live for”, he told her.
“Not even me”, she asked with an innocence on her face.
“No, I cannot. I am sorry. I have lived with you. I will not be able to do it again. I gave you my life for once to destroy. I wish I could have been good for you. But I am not. And now I do not want to be anymore. I do not want to be anything. I do not want to live for you anymore”, he told her with a cold look on his face.
“I would have known before that the person you live for, die for will throw these fire balls on your face one day. The one for whose love and attention you crave, will tell you one fine day that, “I do not want to live for you.” , she cried.
“So for whom I live now? When I have no one to share my happiness with. I made some investments, some futile investments”, she murmured. The train was coming toward her with speed and she was running on the edge of platform, toward the train. I do not want to live for you, he had said to her. “DO NOT LIVE”, these words echoed in her mind. He was a stranger. She was empty. She had memories of the person who did not want to live for her when she had given her physical and emotional self to him. “DO NOT LIVE”, she shouted at the top of her voice and jumped in the light of train headed toward her. The light consumed her body and death consumed her soul.